The hero’s journey is a challenging one and is designed to transform the man in to a hero. While that sounds dramatic it happens every day as people go through transformative experiences that cause them to rise to the occasion and function in a new role. Fatherhood is a transformative experience. Military service is transformative. Meeting a significant challenge that requires new skills and courage is transformative. Divorce is transformative. The transformation can go in either direction – either leaving a man bitter and broken or more self-aware and stronger. The inflection point is the man’s call. Which way does he want this journey to go? He must accept that he does not control the duration of the journey or the events, people or places that he’ll encounter on the journey as there is much unknown. He must accept that he does not know where he will end up at the end of the journey. This all takes willingness and courage. He must be willing to stay the course despite his fears and frustrations. He must have courage that comes from within and externally from the support of others. He must know that he is not the victim of the divorce process, his wife, the judge, the courts, the lawyers. He is the author of the next chapter of his life. He will move ahead with determination toward the new life he is crafting. He journey is as much one of self-discovery as it is facing the challenges external to him. Every man who has held the divorce process this way says he is grateful for what the divorce did for him because he has a satisfying life he wouldn’t have had if he wasn’t forced to change.
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