Getting divorced can mean that your marriage has run its course. It’s a very sad thought for most of us.

A wise man once asked me, “Are you complete with your marriage?”  I found the question odd. How is one ‘complete’ with a marriage?  It turns out that he knew from his vantage point that there was a reason for the marriage and that reason was no longer present.

During our marriage, my then husband had reclaimed his life from the clutches of a life-threatening illness, and established new loving connections with his extended family who he’d been distant from as a result of his lifestyle and negative feelings of his prior wife toward the family. It was wonderful to be a part of this process.

Over the years, our schedules and needs began to diverge which led to increasing tensions. Like a rope that is pulled too tight for too long, the marriage tore apart. Yet, all this good had come of it. I’d been blessed with a new extended family, experiences and insights I would never have had. It was time to follow different courses through life. We’d both entered a new stage of life and were being “invited” (unwelcome invitations are still invitations) to evolve into them separately. The more we could each see that we had been together for good reasons, the easier the process of separating was. We have since each re-married and are glad we accepted the difficult invitation to see our marriage as being complete and following new respective courses through life.